Is this Jay's final curtain?

On a pleasant day Rowington travelled the short distance to Henley, confident after the previous week's result against Bidford. Avoiding the barbed wire that adorns the changing rooms, Rowington's fine captain, Scott Rogers, dressed in his best tossing outfit, once again received the weekly abuse from his "team mates" and went out to the middle. Again he promptly lost the toss, for the fifth time in a row, and was pleasantly surprised to be asked to take the field.

Having no one else to turn to he allowed Steve "spoilt brat" Jay to select the end he wished to bowl from, a matter of age before beauty. Jay promptly chose to bowl with the aid of the wind, down hill and with the slope in order to obtain some slight swing away from the right hander. Henley discreetly reversed their batting order so as not to upset Steve "John McEnroe" Jay. After seven overs of straight up and down Jay was removed from the attack looking tired and frustrated. With the possibility of Jay suffering heart failure, due to his age and weight, Rogers kindly allowed Jay to stand at slip for another week. Unfortunately, this gesture is seen by Steve "shovel hands" Jay as meaning this is his specialised fielding position.

Leon Clarke took over from the youthful Rogers and Brummie Dave Oldfield replaced the aging Jay. Rowington kept things tight as Henley struggled to make an impression on the scorers. Scouse Dave Oldfield, after a couple of wayward overs, began to find his line and extract bounce and movement not seen in the seven overs from Steve "pedestrian" Jay. Passing the batsman's edge on a regular basis prompted captain Rogers to set a field including three slips and two gullies. Jay at first slip was stooped in his usual position, due to his bad back, when an edge from the opener looped up to him. Celebrations were cut short when Steve "Teflon" Jay dropped the dolly. Not surprised, the ever confident Devon Dave ran in again and forced another edge from the batsman. This time Steve "should have gone to Spec Savers" Jay did not even see the ball as it trickled to the boundary. In the following over Leon Clarke suffered another dropped chance, also at the hands of the woeful Jay. Complaining that the white ball we were using was getting lost in the black background, Steve "chicken" Jay asked to be removed from slip. Before Rogers could instigate the move Steve "concrete" Jay shelled another easy chance. The reprieved batsmen carried on pushing the score along.

Rogers decided it was time to bring back Jay to give the Henley score a more healthy look and our batsmen something to chase. Steve "you might as well chuck it to the boundary" Jay obliged by being whacked to all parts of the ground. Retiring to short square leg at the end of the over, Jay contemplated his next over. Rogers ran in to bowl and from an inside edge the ball squirted 10 yards towards Jay. As the batsmen completed the second run Steve "bolt" Jay bent down to stop three and promptly tore his fragile hamstring. At his age the question on everyone's lips was, will it ever heal?

Jay was carried from the field by the front row of Henley's rugby team who were training on the adjacent pitch.

Henley finished on a respectable 181 for 5.

In reply Rowington got off to a terrible start and continued to lose wickets on a regular basis. At 66 for 9 Steve " I play for my average" Jay refused to bat as his injury was too severe. Watching Steve "have I played my last game?" Jay leave the ground, the other members of the team contemplated what life might be like without the side's most influential player, but Rogers told them everything would be fine as Shaw was back from holiday next week. If this was to be Jay's final game at least anyone reading the match reports would know that Rowington actually have ten other guys who contribute something every week!

ONLY JOKING SON

LOVE ALL THE LADS